Who will play the Sherlocks?

 

Sherlock Holmes devotees all have an opinion on one crucial question: Who played the best Sherlock? From William Gillette to Benedict Cumberbatch, they will wrangle over every actor who was ever measured for a deerstalker cap. Writers of Sherlock Holmes pastiches have a slightly different question, however:

Who would play my Sherlock best?

 

Or in my case, my Sherlocks. (Well,  it'sConan Doyle's Sherlock, of course, but my transliterations thereof.) And I use the plural because I have written three Sherlock books which portray the Great Detective at three very different ages--36, 58, and 70. I suppose if Netflix were doing a miniseries, they'd use one actor and plenty of make-up and CGI. But if they were three separate movies, what then? 

(This is not a question that usually comes up, since most of the stories in the canon take place within a twenty year span--so to most fans Holmes is not only immortal but ageless as well)

To be clear, Netflix is not pounding on my door asking to make me rich. Hollywood does not have me on rolodexes, if they still use rolodexes. For this reason, I don't really give a thought to my Sherlock Fantasy League. When people ask (and they do ask) who would play my Sherlock on the big screen, I generally throw my hands in the air with a winsome look of confusion.

But I'll entertain the notion for your amusement and argumentation. Warning: I like actors with an edge. Give me Basil Rathbone over Jeremy Brett any time. Rathbone is unpredictable, dangerous. Unfortunately, also dead. If we can treat Hollywood casting as a fantasy sport, here’s my A and  B teams for Sherlock—though I'll leave you to guess which is A and which B.

Youngish Sherlock

Holmes is youngest but already at the height of his powers in 1890 in The Strange Case of the Dutch Painter (second book published but first chronologically). At his cousin Michel LeComte's request, he travels to France to investigate an art forgery ring. Along the way he becomes entangled in another mystery, the murder of an obscure Dutch painter, Vincent van Gogh. What links the two cases? The part requires a whip-smart, physical actor. So:

Daniel Radcliffe-36 

Surprise! Harry Potter is in his mid-thirties. Radcliffe earned my respect when at 17 he went from the Potter series to playing Alan in Equus on Broadway, a role which required him to appear nude on stage. That was gutsy. He seems to gravitate toward dark or damaged characters and will probably wind up playing Voldemort at some point.

Tom Hiddleston-43

Best known as Loki, the god of mischief. You can see it in his eyes: he’s always thinking, always plotting. He played Scott Fitzgerald, another brooding genius, in Midnight in Paris, and actually invited Thor to slug him for real to up the realism in a fight scene.

Oldish Sherlock

In The Strange Case of Eliza Doolittle, Watson rousts Holmes out of his Sussex retirement  in 1912 to solve the riddle of Eliza Doolittle—guttersnipe, royalty, or the subject of a dire experiment which has already claimed lives? It’ll change the way Holmes looks upon the world forever. It needs a mercurial actor, one with range from pianissimo to fortissimo.

Jason Isaacs-61

Another Potter alumnus (Who isn’t, if you’re a British actor?) Typically plays tight-lipped tough guys (Hook in Peter Pan), but protests "In real life, I am a cringing, neurotic Jewish mess.” He also took on the role of the most secretive Star Trek captain ever in Star Trek: Discovery.

Tim Roth-63

It doesn’t hurt that he played Vincent van Gogh in Vincent and Theo. He’s better known for playing twisted characters in Tarantino films and the deliriously wicked Archibald Cunningham in Rob Roy. How twisted is he? He named his two sons after Cormac McCarthy and Hunter S. Thompson.

Old Sherlock

Holmes is past his prime, both physically and emotionally softer in The Strange Case of the Pharaoh’s Heart, which takes place in 1924. I've billed it as his final case. That said, it might seem strange that I would pick two actors known for their sharp-tongued and bullying roles. It’s precisely because of that undercurrent in their personas that I chose them, because they’d bring that edge to their subtext.

Jeremy irons-76

A gold-plated Shakespearean actor whose name is synonymous with devious, if not deviant—he did play Humbert Humbert in the remake of Lolita. If he can play King Arthur in Camelot, he can play Holmes. Actually he has played Holmes already—in a Saturday Night Live skit. So he’s not afraid to poke holes in a legend.

Peter Capaldi-66

Most famous recently as the dyspeptic twelfth Doctor, he first won my heart as the awkwardly charming Danny Olsen in Local Hero. More recently he played Mr. Micawber in The Personal History of David Copperfield, so we can be sure with him something will always turn up.

And of course, where would Sherlock be without his Watson? Who has the necessary chops to play opposite my Sherlocks? (Although the circumstances are a bit different in his case, since in The Strange Case of the Dutch Painter Watson only appears in the prologue and epilogue, which take place almost forty years after the main action of the tale. So I'd be looking for just two actors, about 60 and 72 years old. Watson is an uncomplicated character, carried through life by a romantic streak that never dies. And so:

Oldish Watson

Hugh Bonneville-61

Known best as the diffident paterfamilias of the Crawley clan in Downton Abbey, he’s been a reliable backstop in a score of films. He’s even played Paddington Bear’s adopted father. Patience is his watchword.

David Thewlis-6l 

Affable, trustworthy, versatile. I first encountered him in Bertolucci’s Besieged, where he plays a pianist willing to sacrifice his art for love. He did his time on the Harry Potter assembly line as the only substitute father-figure who lives to tell the tale, Professor Lupin. Recently he played the uber-cunning con man Fagin in The Artful Dodger.

Old Watson

Ciarán Hinds-72

He might seem a bit heavy for Watson, but in The Strange Case of the Pharaoh's Heart he is a deeply suspicious and irascible Watson, one who feels his place at Holmes’s right hand has been replaced by the psychic medium Estelle Roberts (Tilda Swinton, obviously). Hinds was raised a Catholic in Belfast, so he’s earned the chip on his shoulder. From Julius Caesar to Mance Raydar, leader of the Wildings in GOT, he’s played authority figures of questionable ethos and disposition.

Jim Broadbent-75

Although certainly a sunnier choice for Watson, Broadbent is known for subtly layered performances. Memorable performances include W.S. Gilbert in Topsy-Turvy and a hapless art thief in The Duke. There’s a streak of supportive husbands running through his work, from Iris to Wide-Eyed and Legless to The Iron Lady. Supportive is what Watson’s all about.

I’m working on one more Sherlock Holmes novel. Since I’ve chronicled his last adventure, I felt I should square things off by adding his first one, in 1874, when he was only 20, before he’d been to university or had a glimmer of his future career. He makes his London debut—on stage--and winds up investigating an extremely cold case. So who should play the young Sherlock Holmes? I’m open for suggestions. And pastichers: who would you like to see play your Sherlocks?